Surface Tension

Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.

Duct tape is like "The Force."
It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.

Don't take life too seriously,
no one gets out alive.

Wrinkled was not one of the things
I wanted to be when I grew up.

How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.

The quickest way to double your
money is to fold it in half and
put it in your pocket.

Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.

Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.

Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.

A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors, but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.

Working for God on earth does not pay much,
but the retirement plan is out of this world.